Do you ever just struggle? Struggle with all sorts of things all the time? It seems that Nate and I have gone through a continuous struggle for a long time. With many things. Our neighbors. Our family. Our jobs. Our appliances and tools. Our house. Our dog. It's a continuous battle to get over something that doesn't go quite right or goes completely wrong. We have some really good days and weeks but then one thing happens and it seems to set us back. It's begun to discourage me more and it's making me hate being an adult. It's made me think that this thing we call "the American Dream" is nothing but a race and struggle that is morphing our society into something that is nothing but a nightmare. Nate has this idea that our work hours could be cut in half, if not more, because of the technology we have, but something continues to prevent moms and dads from spending time raising their own children to work. It makes me regret not being thoughtful about my future when I met Nate and knew I wanted to marry him. Why didn't I want to be a stay at home wife when I met him? Why wasn't that our goal? Am I doing what God has called me to do? I am good at what I do, but because I have my own children now, I can't put the time into my job like I could before. And I know my girls don't get nearly the mom time and guidance they could if I wasn't so preoccupied with this thing we call a career. The way we live doesn't seem right to me. I guess that's what I am getting at. Are we all chasing things of this world in vain? Is it all for naught? Or are we being shaped and prepared for something that will come later? "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." I sure know I don't want to persevere sometimes. Tonight I just want to give up but then a piece of my heart and mind say "No!" and I ask God to help me understand why the small struggles are occurring. Maybe I have no character and He wants me to develop that... Maybe He wants me to trust in Him more each day and give Him control. I like control. Maybe too much. It's a struggle and I don't want it to be, so I will pray that this time of our lives will be a learning experience. I'll pray we become better people during this time and work to find what God is calling us to do... if we aren't already doing it.
~M
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Monday, September 30, 2013
Baby #2 has arrived!!
Here's Briella's 'Birth Story'. :)
Saturday, September 28, 2013 - Sunday, September 29, 2013
I had pre-labor 'signs' from Tuesday until Friday and almost no activity on Saturday morning. Nate decided to go to the mountain and do some work at the cabin, cutting down trees and continuing the new fence that will someday go around the 2+ acres of his parents' land. I had intentions of making a few meals and freezing them so the next few weeks we could just pull some leftovers out of the fridge or freezer and eat quick. My mom and dad had offered us some elk and grass fed beef a few months ago but our freezer was very full until recently. I called my mom and asked if she wanted to bring us our meat and help me make some food. She brought me a vanilla latte and doughnut and stuff to make Nate his coconut cream pie for his birthday too. :) We started baking and cooking and not much was going on as far as contractions or feeling like having a baby. We finished around lunch time and mom left Nathellia and I at home.
I put Nathellia down for a nap and finished cleaning the kitchen. When I sat down to rest, I had a few contractions here and there but not much. Around 5 pm I started having contractions about 10 min apart. By 8 pm they were much closer and getting stronger. Nate was home and we had finished dinner by then and he went to shower after working on the mountain. I decided I wanted to shower also and felt like we were going to go to the hospital if the contractions continued. It was about 10pm. I was drying my hair and talking to baby - I said if these contractions were for real and she was really going to be born tonight, she needed to give me a sign... not 2 minutes later my water had broken and we were scrambling to get ready to transition to the hospital.
Now, Nathellia's birth was 45 hours, slow, and I never felt like pushing. Had I known how Briella's birth was going to go, we would have been at the hospital earlier in the evening... but anyway...
Water had broken, contractions were one after the other. I was able to move around, breathe, and mostly was ok with them until right before the car was ready to go. Nate's parents came over to gather the dog's food, our dogs, Nathellia and some odds and ends for her. Finally I was making my way to the car around 11:40pm and really felt like I needed to push. The ride to the hospital was INTENSE! When the nurses met us they just kept saying 'slow big breath' and it helped me feel better. I was admitted by 11:59 pm, docs were in our room and I was able to begin pushing around 12:20am. I think my doctor wanted me to take a little more time but I and Briella were ready. She was born at 12:55am!! Less than an hour after we were admitted! WOW! :)
It was a much different experience than Nathellia's birth, but went just the way it was supposed to go. I didn't have an epidural or pitocin and things were a little painful, but I felt like it went how briths are supposed to go. And today, I feel much better than I did after having all the stuff with Nathellia. I am praying my recovery with Briella will be easier than Nathellia and so far it seems like that will be true.
Nate was awesome. He was very encouraging and I don't think I could have done this without him and the nurses and doctor letting me know all was well and I was doing good. To say the least, Briella is probably the best birthday present I can give to him. We were thinking she would wait until 9/30, but 9/29/13 is a pretty good bday date too! :) Nathellia was around for many of the intense contractions and she just kept asking if I needed a Kleenex or she would say "It's ok mommy. You be ok!" She was right. Contractions only last so long. Pushing only lasts so long. And now we have a beautiful baby girl to hold and love and spoil along with her big sister.
Her official stats are as follows...
Briella Marian Long born 12:55am 9/29/13
7lbs 14 oz
21.5 in. long
13 in. head
Saturday, September 28, 2013 - Sunday, September 29, 2013
I had pre-labor 'signs' from Tuesday until Friday and almost no activity on Saturday morning. Nate decided to go to the mountain and do some work at the cabin, cutting down trees and continuing the new fence that will someday go around the 2+ acres of his parents' land. I had intentions of making a few meals and freezing them so the next few weeks we could just pull some leftovers out of the fridge or freezer and eat quick. My mom and dad had offered us some elk and grass fed beef a few months ago but our freezer was very full until recently. I called my mom and asked if she wanted to bring us our meat and help me make some food. She brought me a vanilla latte and doughnut and stuff to make Nate his coconut cream pie for his birthday too. :) We started baking and cooking and not much was going on as far as contractions or feeling like having a baby. We finished around lunch time and mom left Nathellia and I at home.
I put Nathellia down for a nap and finished cleaning the kitchen. When I sat down to rest, I had a few contractions here and there but not much. Around 5 pm I started having contractions about 10 min apart. By 8 pm they were much closer and getting stronger. Nate was home and we had finished dinner by then and he went to shower after working on the mountain. I decided I wanted to shower also and felt like we were going to go to the hospital if the contractions continued. It was about 10pm. I was drying my hair and talking to baby - I said if these contractions were for real and she was really going to be born tonight, she needed to give me a sign... not 2 minutes later my water had broken and we were scrambling to get ready to transition to the hospital.
Now, Nathellia's birth was 45 hours, slow, and I never felt like pushing. Had I known how Briella's birth was going to go, we would have been at the hospital earlier in the evening... but anyway...
Water had broken, contractions were one after the other. I was able to move around, breathe, and mostly was ok with them until right before the car was ready to go. Nate's parents came over to gather the dog's food, our dogs, Nathellia and some odds and ends for her. Finally I was making my way to the car around 11:40pm and really felt like I needed to push. The ride to the hospital was INTENSE! When the nurses met us they just kept saying 'slow big breath' and it helped me feel better. I was admitted by 11:59 pm, docs were in our room and I was able to begin pushing around 12:20am. I think my doctor wanted me to take a little more time but I and Briella were ready. She was born at 12:55am!! Less than an hour after we were admitted! WOW! :)
It was a much different experience than Nathellia's birth, but went just the way it was supposed to go. I didn't have an epidural or pitocin and things were a little painful, but I felt like it went how briths are supposed to go. And today, I feel much better than I did after having all the stuff with Nathellia. I am praying my recovery with Briella will be easier than Nathellia and so far it seems like that will be true.
Nate was awesome. He was very encouraging and I don't think I could have done this without him and the nurses and doctor letting me know all was well and I was doing good. To say the least, Briella is probably the best birthday present I can give to him. We were thinking she would wait until 9/30, but 9/29/13 is a pretty good bday date too! :) Nathellia was around for many of the intense contractions and she just kept asking if I needed a Kleenex or she would say "It's ok mommy. You be ok!" She was right. Contractions only last so long. Pushing only lasts so long. And now we have a beautiful baby girl to hold and love and spoil along with her big sister.
Her official stats are as follows...
Briella Marian Long born 12:55am 9/29/13
7lbs 14 oz
21.5 in. long
13 in. head
Nate took this pic on a whim and I love it! One of my favorite pics of Nathellia ever and Briella is looking good too and I actually don't look too bad either. ;) I am sure we will have many more to show and we need one with daddy and his girls too...
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Patient and Waiting. Well... at least waiting.
It's been a long time since I posted on here. I am not even going to attempt to update what's happened in our lives since the last post either. A LOT! :) I am going to write about how I am feeling, sitting here waiting for baby #2 to arrive.
I am 40 + 3 days pregnant. I have been off of work for 10 days now (I think??) and I am getting very impatient for this child to decide to show up. We see doctor tomorrow and maybe they will decide to induce or something which I am excited for and not excited for all at once. I think baby should come when baby is ready; however, I also wanted baby to come like a week ago or more! I SOOO want to hold this child and have another kiddo running around with Nathellia. That's a weird thing for me to feel because I wasn't one of those people who just wanted kids so bad. When Nathellia came into our lives she was a huge blessing and now we get another blessing. I really like being a mom. But not a pregnant mom. Or a pregnant teacher. It was not fun working and being 9 months pregnant.
That brings me to my next thought... I wish work didn't regulate so much of our lives. It does. That's reality. We work so that someday one of us won't have to and we will be an at-least-one-stay-at-home-parent family. And because I am working right now, I only get so much time off while being paid. After so long, I have to start paying work back to keep my job. Well, with a new baby and hoping to be a breastfeeding mom, the few weeks I will get with new baby are valuable and few since we can't afford to pay for me to take more time. I do get 6 weeks, but how wonderful would it be to have 10 or 12? Anyway... since I was told by doc to take time off before baby arrived, I am just loosing that much more time with baby after he or she arrives. I still get the 6 weeks, but sick days and sub dock days are gone so after I go back to work I have to stay very healthy, happy, capable, etc. all while trying to breastfeed, teach 14 first graders, and keep my family organized. It's a lot to be anxious about. I sure can't do it alone and wouldn't want to!
Anyway... the anxiety, anxiousness has gotten me a little down the past few days. I was even having some really strong contractions but they go away. That just makes me think something is wrong you know. I hate where my thoughts take me so today, I listened to a lot of worship music, prayed a lot, rested, and ate when I was hungry. Maybe that doesn't sound like a way to be uplifted to you, but it worked for me. I also have a husband who reassures me, prays for me, and tells me it's all ok. So today I am very grateful for God's presence in my life and for my husband's ability to snap me back to reality... :) I am also thankful for Nathellia who keeps saying, you're ok or it's ok mommy when I need to hear it and don't even know I need to hear it. I'm telling you, she is a little blessing for sure!
That's where I am today... pregnant. Waiting. And attempting to be patient. Philippians 4:6-7 is on my mind... Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition present your requests to God and the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
I am 40 + 3 days pregnant. I have been off of work for 10 days now (I think??) and I am getting very impatient for this child to decide to show up. We see doctor tomorrow and maybe they will decide to induce or something which I am excited for and not excited for all at once. I think baby should come when baby is ready; however, I also wanted baby to come like a week ago or more! I SOOO want to hold this child and have another kiddo running around with Nathellia. That's a weird thing for me to feel because I wasn't one of those people who just wanted kids so bad. When Nathellia came into our lives she was a huge blessing and now we get another blessing. I really like being a mom. But not a pregnant mom. Or a pregnant teacher. It was not fun working and being 9 months pregnant.
That brings me to my next thought... I wish work didn't regulate so much of our lives. It does. That's reality. We work so that someday one of us won't have to and we will be an at-least-one-stay-at-home-parent family. And because I am working right now, I only get so much time off while being paid. After so long, I have to start paying work back to keep my job. Well, with a new baby and hoping to be a breastfeeding mom, the few weeks I will get with new baby are valuable and few since we can't afford to pay for me to take more time. I do get 6 weeks, but how wonderful would it be to have 10 or 12? Anyway... since I was told by doc to take time off before baby arrived, I am just loosing that much more time with baby after he or she arrives. I still get the 6 weeks, but sick days and sub dock days are gone so after I go back to work I have to stay very healthy, happy, capable, etc. all while trying to breastfeed, teach 14 first graders, and keep my family organized. It's a lot to be anxious about. I sure can't do it alone and wouldn't want to!
Anyway... the anxiety, anxiousness has gotten me a little down the past few days. I was even having some really strong contractions but they go away. That just makes me think something is wrong you know. I hate where my thoughts take me so today, I listened to a lot of worship music, prayed a lot, rested, and ate when I was hungry. Maybe that doesn't sound like a way to be uplifted to you, but it worked for me. I also have a husband who reassures me, prays for me, and tells me it's all ok. So today I am very grateful for God's presence in my life and for my husband's ability to snap me back to reality... :) I am also thankful for Nathellia who keeps saying, you're ok or it's ok mommy when I need to hear it and don't even know I need to hear it. I'm telling you, she is a little blessing for sure!
That's where I am today... pregnant. Waiting. And attempting to be patient. Philippians 4:6-7 is on my mind... Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition present your requests to God and the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Baby Nathellia!
So... I anticipate blogging a lot this summer and want to put a bunch of pictures on here of our journey with Nathellia so far, but I am very tired at the moment and need to go feed her and get her ready to sleep. I hope she sleeps well tonight cause I am very exhausted today even though I didn't do much. Anyway... here's one picture of our baby girl... many more to come (hopefully).
Tummy time on our bed...
Tummy time on our bed...
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I guess it's time for another update. Honestly, I like to blog, but I never take the time to do it. I decide to clean the kitchen or read everyone's FB statuses or read other blogs and then I am usually off to do something else. Anyway, I feel like blogging right now. I don't have any pics to upload cause I am using my new computer that I have yet to connect to our Drobo, which is basically a little server that I could acess with all my pics on it... need to do that someday. Long story short, my pics are on those hard drives and not this one. Thinking of technology... sometimes it all just annoys me and other times I really enjoy all the computers, internet, hand held gadnets, etc. that we have. It's a love hate thing for sure.
So it's 2011! And January is half over. Wow! Last year at this time I was about half way done with my masters program and counting down the days to Hawaii. Now Nate and I are counting down the days to another exciting event and attempting to prepare for that. I am amazed at how quickly life moves sometimes and yet it all works out just the way it's supposed to. I love that I can look back on things knowing I have been blessed so much and trust that the future holds many more blessings. There are those moments that we feel a bit overwhelmed due to work and 'to do' lists. Nate's preparing for the 2 classes he is going to begin teaching this week. Adobe Flash and Adobe Photoshop. He's doing this on top of his IT job and working at Best Buy a few hours a week... he's awesome and I hope I can be encouraging to him as I know it's a lot to do.
I have been looking into the opportunity to teach English through some online courses and may go to a training for that soon, but it is taking a while to get things rolling. Someday I want to try online teaching and teaching English online a few hours a week now may help me decide if I would really like that kind of teaching. So we'll see where that goes and if it develops into anything interesting.
Beyond these somewhat random thoughts... I have this idea in my head to make it a habit to have people over to our house for dinner or desserts or games or whatever at least once a month, but it hasn't happened like I have wanted and it sure hasn't been once a month. So maybe one of my 2011 goals will be to invite people over more and make it a point to fellowship with our friends more often. Another goal I have is to stay on top of work and not get behind. I have had 1 week back with students, and so far, I'm doing good, but can just see myself getting lazy and letting those papers and data charts pile up and wait for the end of the quarter before I do much with them. Speaking of work, I went to Staples today to buy some stuff my students use and I was getting low on or have run out of... $70 later I have stuff for them to use now until the end of the year. $70!? Office supplies should not cost $70. I was just glad I had an LPO to use to buy it all... markers and paper should not cost that much money. At least I have stuff for them now and don't have to keep borrowing from others.
So it's 2011! And January is half over. Wow! Last year at this time I was about half way done with my masters program and counting down the days to Hawaii. Now Nate and I are counting down the days to another exciting event and attempting to prepare for that. I am amazed at how quickly life moves sometimes and yet it all works out just the way it's supposed to. I love that I can look back on things knowing I have been blessed so much and trust that the future holds many more blessings. There are those moments that we feel a bit overwhelmed due to work and 'to do' lists. Nate's preparing for the 2 classes he is going to begin teaching this week. Adobe Flash and Adobe Photoshop. He's doing this on top of his IT job and working at Best Buy a few hours a week... he's awesome and I hope I can be encouraging to him as I know it's a lot to do.
I have been looking into the opportunity to teach English through some online courses and may go to a training for that soon, but it is taking a while to get things rolling. Someday I want to try online teaching and teaching English online a few hours a week now may help me decide if I would really like that kind of teaching. So we'll see where that goes and if it develops into anything interesting.
Beyond these somewhat random thoughts... I have this idea in my head to make it a habit to have people over to our house for dinner or desserts or games or whatever at least once a month, but it hasn't happened like I have wanted and it sure hasn't been once a month. So maybe one of my 2011 goals will be to invite people over more and make it a point to fellowship with our friends more often. Another goal I have is to stay on top of work and not get behind. I have had 1 week back with students, and so far, I'm doing good, but can just see myself getting lazy and letting those papers and data charts pile up and wait for the end of the quarter before I do much with them. Speaking of work, I went to Staples today to buy some stuff my students use and I was getting low on or have run out of... $70 later I have stuff for them to use now until the end of the year. $70!? Office supplies should not cost $70. I was just glad I had an LPO to use to buy it all... markers and paper should not cost that much money. At least I have stuff for them now and don't have to keep borrowing from others.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Random catch up...
So... I am leading/coaching our school's FLL team which stands for FIRST LEGO League. Check out FLL here. Basically, FLL is a sports tournament for nerds using small robots and legos. I haven't felt like I have done much of a great job with our team until today. My students have completed a few of their missions and our research team is well on their way! I was really proud of their work today and am hoping they know they can do a great job at the tournament in 2 Saturdays. So that's all for now... just had to vent that.
On another note... I am so excited to have a 2 day work week this week! I need to get caught up on so much stuff, including finishing my portfolio that I began 2 and a half years ago when I was hired at the school district. Time sure does fly and it's hard to catch up when I let myself get behind, I know I can finish what I need to finish this week if I did all of my masters degree in just 10 months!! ;)
So that's all for the time being. Nate and I are doing well, but pray for him as he is working extra this holiday season at Best Buy. We think it's gonna be a good second job and hopefully not too overwhelming that he wears himself out. Here's a pic of us at a FREE concert in Douglas a couple weeks ago.
I need to take more pics of us when we are doing fun stuff... we went ice skating the other day too... it was fun. That's all for now... and hopefully I get some good Thanksgiving pics and post some afterward.
On another note... I am so excited to have a 2 day work week this week! I need to get caught up on so much stuff, including finishing my portfolio that I began 2 and a half years ago when I was hired at the school district. Time sure does fly and it's hard to catch up when I let myself get behind, I know I can finish what I need to finish this week if I did all of my masters degree in just 10 months!! ;)
So that's all for the time being. Nate and I are doing well, but pray for him as he is working extra this holiday season at Best Buy. We think it's gonna be a good second job and hopefully not too overwhelming that he wears himself out. Here's a pic of us at a FREE concert in Douglas a couple weeks ago.
I need to take more pics of us when we are doing fun stuff... we went ice skating the other day too... it was fun. That's all for now... and hopefully I get some good Thanksgiving pics and post some afterward.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Enjoying life...
well... that was my thought when I began uploading pics but our router or this computer or something with the network does not like my windows 7 machine or my ipad right now so i won't upload any cute photos or videos of my nephews and niece and Bernnie's little girl until this random problem is resolved. We'll see... and then you'll see some cute pics of mi familia... lets see if I can stay connected enough to upload this short message.
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