Patient and Waiting. Well... at least waiting.

It's been a long time since I posted on here.  I am not even going to attempt to update what's happened in our lives since the last post either.  A LOT!  :)  I am going to write about how I am feeling, sitting here waiting for baby #2 to arrive. 
I am 40 + 3 days pregnant.  I have been off of work for 10 days now (I think??) and I am getting very impatient for this child to decide to show up.  We see doctor tomorrow and maybe they will decide to induce or something which I am excited for and not excited for all at once.  I think baby should come when baby is ready; however, I also wanted baby to come like a week ago or more!  I SOOO want to hold this child and have another kiddo running around with Nathellia.  That's a weird thing for me to feel because I wasn't one of those people who just wanted kids so bad.  When Nathellia came into our lives she was a huge blessing and now we get another blessing.  I really like being a mom.  But not a pregnant mom.  Or a pregnant teacher.  It was not fun working and being 9 months pregnant. 
That brings me to my next thought... I wish work didn't regulate so much of our lives.  It does.  That's reality.  We work so that someday one of us won't have to and we will be an at-least-one-stay-at-home-parent family.  And because I am working right now, I only get so much time off while being paid.  After so long, I have to start paying work back to keep my job.  Well, with a new baby and hoping to be a breastfeeding mom, the few weeks I will get with new baby are valuable and few since we can't afford to pay for me to take more time.  I do get 6 weeks, but how wonderful would it be to have 10 or 12?  Anyway... since I was told by doc to take time off before baby arrived, I am just loosing that much more time with baby after he or she arrives.  I still get the 6 weeks, but sick days and sub dock days are gone so after I go back to work I have to stay very healthy, happy, capable, etc. all while trying to breastfeed, teach 14 first graders, and keep my family organized.  It's a lot to be anxious about.  I sure can't do it alone and wouldn't want to! 
Anyway... the anxiety, anxiousness has gotten me a little down the past few days.  I was even having some really strong contractions but they go away.  That just makes me think something is wrong you know.  I hate where my thoughts take me so today, I listened to a lot of worship music, prayed a lot, rested, and ate when I was hungry.  Maybe that doesn't sound like a way to be uplifted to you, but it worked for me.  I also have a husband who reassures me, prays for me, and tells me it's all ok.  So today I am very grateful for God's presence in my life and for my husband's ability to snap me back to reality... :)  I am also thankful for Nathellia who keeps saying, you're ok or it's ok mommy when I need to hear it and don't even know I need to hear it.  I'm telling you, she is a little blessing for sure! 

That's where I am today... pregnant.  Waiting.  And attempting to be patient.  Philippians 4:6-7 is on my mind... Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition present your requests to God and the peace of God which passes all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.