A little rest...

This week has been very wearisome.  We've all been sick.  The illnesses, and teething, began well over a week ago and lasted for some time.  We also made the final push to move the rest of our stuff to our new, temporary home - aka, my parent's house.  (yes... we moved again but that's another story that hopefully leads to some healing and resolution some day) This is how it played out.  Friday night with runny noses, headaches, etc. we began loading our big stuff and moving it out, woke up on Saturday and worked on it while fighting off more sniffles, bad coughs, and exhaustion.  Sunday we had a friend come help move 'the big stuff' and unload it at the new place, which was wonderful since I was basically having a mental breakdown and was ready to run away from it all.  I took Monday off from work due to being sick to my stomach.  Nathellia missed preschool that day due to puking on Sunday, while we were moving.  Each evening we had to go finish moving and organizing and we just weren't getting better so I made us all doctor's appointments and we all went together.  I was the only one put on meds, but after taking another day off of work, unpacking some more things, getting more settled, and getting some awesome sleep, I and the rest of my family are finally feeling better. 

On top of some good rest I was able to get some great fellowship with a friend from college, along with some awesome worship music and divine messages.  Some highlights from that were...
- Why are you losing your peace over something you have no control over?
- make sure your prayers are scary, not scared.
- don't worship your problems
- we rarely notice the blessings of the season we are currently in in life.  We don't notice all the blessings and perfect timing of things until we are into the next season.
- Everything in our life will change at one point or another.  Everything, except God.
- When you have junk buried deep down, God will continue to bring it up until you and He deal with it together.
- Allow His overwhelming love to overwhelm your overwhelming circumstances
- God does not get involved if you can do it on your own...

And so much more.  It reassured me that even though life these last few months has seemed overwhelmingly overwhelming, we can't just stop moving.  We can't just set up camp and give up.  We must keep moving and see what God has in store.  We may have to deal with some stressful things, but that's ok.  It's expected.  It's life.  We may have to deal with others questioning our decisions, but we, I hope, will do what God wants us to do.  In the short run, I just want to be a more attentive wife, mom, and employee.  We'll see what I'm to do when I am in another season. And I know Nate is looking forward to what God has in store for him and all of us as a family.  It will be good.  We will continue to be loved and blessed. 
~ML

It continues...

It amazes me at how difficult life can be sometimes.  And it seems to get worse as time goes on.  I sit and try to think about why it seems so hard to be productive at home after working all day at work.  I sit at work and wonder why I am so tired some days as I drink my coffee and listen to kids read to me.  And there is never just one answer.  Stress.  Allergies.  A cold.  An infection.  A sick kid who coughs while she's sleeping next to you as you lay awake wondering what else you can do to help her stop coughing.  There could be so many reasons. And the sad thing is, I think we as a society do this to ourselves.  We think this is the way to live.  I view what we, as a society in general, are doing as struggle.  So... let's stop struggling to live.  Let's eliminate some things in our life that cause us to struggle and learn how to live.  Right?  Well, Nate and I, knowing we sure can't change society as a whole, have taken some steps that we truly believe will get US to that point someday.  A life of less stuff and more life. 

Today I am sitting in my mother-in-laws home typing this blog.  I don't have a house of my own to do this in.  We sold our house.  The house that we never owned but gave so much money to live in.  The house that literally became the place to sleep and shower in between working and running errands.  The house that I actually do not miss now that it's gone.  Don't get me wrong, I do miss that we had our own area, but it was a burden.  Getting rid of that cost will allow us to pay off the remainder of our debt and be DEBT FREE FOREVER!!  That's our desire anyway.  We know it was the HUGE step we needed to take to nuke the other debt we do still have. 

Having a huge financial burden be lifted off of us is something to celebrate, but it also means we are now 'taking over' an area of our family's house and that is stressful.  I like my personal space and I know other people do too.  Living all together is going to be a learning experience.  I know I've already had to step back and take a moment, apologize, ask for clarification about things I don't worry about but know others do... etc. etc.  It's just a huge learning experience and we are having to do that while organizing the belongings we still have, working full time, and being parents.  On top of that... we are mourning the loss of a father and grandfather and it just seems too much to handle sometimes. 

I don't know what it's like to just be a mom.  Nate doesn't know what it's like to just be a dad.  We surely don't know what/where the choices we are making right now will lead us to, but we have faith that it will help us be the mom, dad, and spouses we know we are called to be but haven't been yet.  I know we don't want to be this tired the rest of our lives and if we don't make some changes now, our lifestyle won't change.  So... it continues, but maybe the results will eventually improve.  :)