It amazes me at how difficult life can be sometimes. And it seems to get worse as time goes on. I sit and try to think about why it seems so hard to be productive at home after working all day at work. I sit at work and wonder why I am so tired some days as I drink my coffee and listen to kids read to me. And there is never just one answer. Stress. Allergies. A cold. An infection. A sick kid who coughs while she's sleeping next to you as you lay awake wondering what else you can do to help her stop coughing. There could be so many reasons. And the sad thing is, I think we as a society do this to ourselves. We think this is the way to live. I view what we, as a society in general, are doing as struggle. So... let's stop struggling to live. Let's eliminate some things in our life that cause us to struggle and learn how to live. Right? Well, Nate and I, knowing we sure can't change society as a whole, have taken some steps that we truly believe will get US to that point someday. A life of less stuff and more life.
Today I am sitting in my mother-in-laws home typing this blog. I don't have a house of my own to do this in. We sold our house. The house that we never owned but gave so much money to live in. The house that literally became the place to sleep and shower in between working and running errands. The house that I actually do not miss now that it's gone. Don't get me wrong, I do miss that we had our own area, but it was a burden. Getting rid of that cost will allow us to pay off the remainder of our debt and be DEBT FREE FOREVER!! That's our desire anyway. We know it was the HUGE step we needed to take to nuke the other debt we do still have.
Having a huge financial burden be lifted off of us is something to celebrate, but it also means we are now 'taking over' an area of our family's house and that is stressful. I like my personal space and I know other people do too. Living all together is going to be a learning experience. I know I've already had to step back and take a moment, apologize, ask for clarification about things I don't worry about but know others do... etc. etc. It's just a huge learning experience and we are having to do that while organizing the belongings we still have, working full time, and being parents. On top of that... we are mourning the loss of a father and grandfather and it just seems too much to handle sometimes.
I don't know what it's like to just be a mom. Nate doesn't know what it's like to just be a dad. We surely don't know what/where the choices we are making right now will lead us to, but we have faith that it will help us be the mom, dad, and spouses we know we are called to be but haven't been yet. I know we don't want to be this tired the rest of our lives and if we don't make some changes now, our lifestyle won't change. So... it continues, but maybe the results will eventually improve. :)
2 comments:
I'm so proud of you, friend. Those are really difficult decisions to make, but can make a lifelong difference for your family! Honestly? I keep wondering when you're going to stay home and homeschool your kiddos, because I think you would LOVE that lifestyle and you'd be a great teacher to your girls. But I guess I'm biased, since I love living this life. Every time you talk about being busy and stressed, I think you should try staying home and homeschooling...It's not that it's not busy or stressful, because (TRUST ME) it can be hard to be with your own kids 24/7 and bear the responsibility of their education. But it's a much simpler life, with so many blessings. Ok, I'm done rambling. :-)
I think it is great that you are taking steps to become debt-free. I know you've made some difficult decisions but they will "pay off" in the long run!
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